Tuesday, May 31, 2011

No Permission to Love ME

I don't need the permission of other people to love ME. 
I don't need the confirmation of other people to know my nappy hair is beautiful, because I already know it is.
-- Ms-gg

This blog entry is inspired by some of the comments I see from new naturals who become upset when others criticize their decision to embrace their natural hair.  Truth be told, although you may see the beauty in your hair, there are a lot more people who do not, and probably never will.  And that is not going to change anytime soon.  We live in a society, in a world where straight hair is seen as the epitome of beauty, and African kinky hair is at the very bottom of the totem poll being shoved into the dirt and spit on.  It is what it is.  This way of thinking goes back way before any of us were born, and it is subconsciously planted into the minds of many us.

  If you want to rock your natural hair you are going to have to love your hair first.  Do not look for external validation, because what if you never get it? If no one ever tells you your hair is beautiful, that they decided to go natural too because they love your nappy texture, is that going to change your decision to stay natural?  I hope not.

You are going to have to hold your head up high and love you more than you ever did before because a lot of times, natural hair can bring out the ugly in people. I'm not talking about natural hair making you look ugly, but I am talking about natural hair can make other people act ugly.  People may say cruel things to you, and sometimes these people are jealous because you are wearing your hair natural and with pride.

Also, I don't know if you have noticed this or not, but there are a lot of hurt and abused black people walking around in this world.  Their mama said they were ugly, daddy said they were ugly, the kids in grade school teased them back in 1982 because they had buck shots not just in the back of their hair, but all over their hair- there are some people walking around on this earth who are still carrying around all this hurt from 20, 30, 40 years ago.  They are still hurting today.  Seeing you hurt just as much as they did brings pleasure to their hurt souls.  Misery loves company.  Why give them what they want?  Why play into their games?  Don't. 

Someone says that your hair is ugly, tell them that your God does not make mistakes.  Tell them that God made you in His image and because of that, your hair is beautiful.  What other people walking this earth has hair like us?  Our hair is truly unique and beautiful and I don't care how many relaxers you get, how often you bleach your skin, how many nose jobs you get to change your African nose, that nappy hair of ours is one characteristic of your African self that you cannot deny, nor can you get rid of. 

Remember that you do not need permission to love yourself.  You do not need the confirmation of other people to know that your natural hair is beautiful if you believe so yourself first.  The power of self love is amazing and it will repel any ignorance that is thrown your way. 


1 comment:

  1. This post brought tears.to my eyes. I've been natural for over a year and I haven't felt pretty on any day I've been wearing it. I've always been insecure but I refuse to get a perm. I feel like I will never find love bc my big forehead is exposed. At my church, a Filipino church, people act weird around me.bc I'm black and my hair they look at it instead of looking at me. Only a few people have liked my hair. I just feel really sad about my insecurity and your post gave me a bit.of.confidence to keep going. Thank you.



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